unspeakablehorror (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
unspeakablehorror) wrote2025-05-17 01:17 am
unspeakablehorror) wrote2025-05-17 01:17 am
Entry tags:
[REDACTED]
One of the problems I consistently encounter when socializing is that I simply am unwilling to explain myself because that would almost invariably entail revealing more about myself than I am willing to.
Though I can't help but doubt that it would matter even if I did. Plenty of people tell their life story online and aren't treated any better for it despite far more difficult or dire circumstances than my own. I've seen that as instructive: sympathy is less important to the social order than superiority. So perhaps my issue is more illusory than it appears. Would things go any better for me if I was more open? The evidence indicates not.
And yet, at the same time, I feel my lack of openness does somehow alienate me from others beyond the already rampant disconnection and derision people typically seem to have towards each other.
It's a problem I see no satisfactory answer to.
Though I can't help but doubt that it would matter even if I did. Plenty of people tell their life story online and aren't treated any better for it despite far more difficult or dire circumstances than my own. I've seen that as instructive: sympathy is less important to the social order than superiority. So perhaps my issue is more illusory than it appears. Would things go any better for me if I was more open? The evidence indicates not.
And yet, at the same time, I feel my lack of openness does somehow alienate me from others beyond the already rampant disconnection and derision people typically seem to have towards each other.
It's a problem I see no satisfactory answer to.