Criticism
To really be able to contribute well to society, people have to be able to both give and receive criticism. No one is always right, nor are they always wrong. Withholding good ideas for fear of their reception or being unwilling to accept valid criticisms both reduce our ability to improve a world that desperately needs improving. I'd like to be better at handling both of these things, and I have maybe improved a small amount. But I really don't think I've improved enough.
I mean, I try to always listen to criticisms, even when they're given harshly, and try to ask myself if the criticism has any validity. Though I ignore simple insults, because those aren't the same as criticisms. Some criticisms are mean-spirited, but do still contain useful information about what the person thinks is being done wrong, as opposed to insults, which are just about making you feel bad and not really addressing any wrongdoing. One problem I have is I don't necessarily know how to get clarification of people's criticisms, even if I think I would be willing to talk with them directly. Of course I don't necessarily always have to talk to someone directly to know what arguments exist for a given criticism, because much has been written online. However, I think I perhaps rely on this indirect method too much, though I also want to avoid the issue some have where they rely too much on expecting others to explain and prove every little thing to them. Sometimes direct clarification is necessary, however, especially in cases where the criticism has been fundamentally misunderstood. I'm not used to asking such questions of people, though, and it opens up the possibility of unpleasant confrontation. Sometimes I force myself to do it anyway, but I don't feel like that has necessarily done much to make me better at it. Obviously, the most important thing is to distinguish between correct and incorrect criticisms, and while I'll never be able to do that perfectly I must ask myself what I can do to improve.
I also want to improve how I give criticisms. In general, I prefer to be firm but not aggressive about my criticisms. At the same time, it's fair for people to criticize my criticisms in return, but I don't feel that I'm always good at dealing with that. I also prefer to avoid criticizing people but I also think this is a character flaw of mine, because I am placing my and other's personal comfort over principled ethics. On the other hand I'm obviously not right about everything, because no one is, so sometimes that probably is ideal. Still, I kind of doubt that I'm wrong about everything either. At the same time, I also think that sometimes I'm not the best person to give a certain criticism, even if the criticism is a legitimate one. But part of the reason for that is that my communication skills in this area aren't the best developed because I try to avoid doing it.
Thoughts?
I mean, I try to always listen to criticisms, even when they're given harshly, and try to ask myself if the criticism has any validity. Though I ignore simple insults, because those aren't the same as criticisms. Some criticisms are mean-spirited, but do still contain useful information about what the person thinks is being done wrong, as opposed to insults, which are just about making you feel bad and not really addressing any wrongdoing. One problem I have is I don't necessarily know how to get clarification of people's criticisms, even if I think I would be willing to talk with them directly. Of course I don't necessarily always have to talk to someone directly to know what arguments exist for a given criticism, because much has been written online. However, I think I perhaps rely on this indirect method too much, though I also want to avoid the issue some have where they rely too much on expecting others to explain and prove every little thing to them. Sometimes direct clarification is necessary, however, especially in cases where the criticism has been fundamentally misunderstood. I'm not used to asking such questions of people, though, and it opens up the possibility of unpleasant confrontation. Sometimes I force myself to do it anyway, but I don't feel like that has necessarily done much to make me better at it. Obviously, the most important thing is to distinguish between correct and incorrect criticisms, and while I'll never be able to do that perfectly I must ask myself what I can do to improve.
I also want to improve how I give criticisms. In general, I prefer to be firm but not aggressive about my criticisms. At the same time, it's fair for people to criticize my criticisms in return, but I don't feel that I'm always good at dealing with that. I also prefer to avoid criticizing people but I also think this is a character flaw of mine, because I am placing my and other's personal comfort over principled ethics. On the other hand I'm obviously not right about everything, because no one is, so sometimes that probably is ideal. Still, I kind of doubt that I'm wrong about everything either. At the same time, I also think that sometimes I'm not the best person to give a certain criticism, even if the criticism is a legitimate one. But part of the reason for that is that my communication skills in this area aren't the best developed because I try to avoid doing it.
Thoughts?