Socializing: My Woes, Continued
Dec. 16th, 2019 12:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
unspeakablehorrorI've seen a lot of people joke that they can't be themself because they don't have the slightest clue who they are themselves. And that is very much not a problem I have but I do have the problem of 'I really don't think you want me to be myself'. Often.
I think one of the biggest parts of that is that my sense of ethics seems to operate at a more abstract level a lot of the time, and I feel that if I don't act on violations to those ethics, then I'm betraying myself and my values even if saying nothing would be more socially beneficial to me and other people would actually think I was a better person by not making a big deal out of such things. I have become less rigid over some things as I've become an adult because I came to the conclusion that they didn't matter or at the least shouldn't be prioritized over personal relationships, but I think it's just that I maybe don't respond as strongly as normal to social pressure regarding being wrong about things, including ethics. Like if everyone around me says I'm wrong but I don't see how I'm wrong, then while I may not assume I must be right, I'm not going to take their word on it either unless they can present me with something I consider an actual good reason to think I'm wrong.
I think one of the biggest parts of that is that my sense of ethics seems to operate at a more abstract level a lot of the time, and I feel that if I don't act on violations to those ethics, then I'm betraying myself and my values even if saying nothing would be more socially beneficial to me and other people would actually think I was a better person by not making a big deal out of such things. I have become less rigid over some things as I've become an adult because I came to the conclusion that they didn't matter or at the least shouldn't be prioritized over personal relationships, but I think it's just that I maybe don't respond as strongly as normal to social pressure regarding being wrong about things, including ethics. Like if everyone around me says I'm wrong but I don't see how I'm wrong, then while I may not assume I must be right, I'm not going to take their word on it either unless they can present me with something I consider an actual good reason to think I'm wrong.