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A Duality of Disposition
Apr. 22nd, 2020 02:03 amI'm someone who tries incredibly hard to avoid confrontation, but when people are hostile to me, I am by no means averse to being hostile in return if I feel it necessary.
If someone physically harasses or attacks me, I tend to respond with physical force in whatever way I am able. This seems to have been immensely shocking to most of the people who ever did this kind of thing to me, perhaps because they mistook my intense social anxiety for meekness. But apparently I have always been a wild feral beast hiding out in human form.
If someone verbally attacks me or something I have said, I will have a go at first considering whether they have a legitimate reason to be doing so, but if my considered answer is 'no', I am perfectly happy to completely ignore every subsequent word they say on the matter, or if I'm feeling particularly energetic, to tell them exactly what I think of their statements.
While this has, in my experience, been an immensely helpful disposition for dealing with hostile randos (either online or off), I think I need to learn additional, more nuanced responses, to actually deal with other people I know and have healthy relationships. There will probably always be times where my natural responses are appropriate, but sometimes I just know that that's not how I want to handle a situation, lol. I've already learned a number of things that I've found helpful in recent years, but there is still much more I'd like to understand.
If someone physically harasses or attacks me, I tend to respond with physical force in whatever way I am able. This seems to have been immensely shocking to most of the people who ever did this kind of thing to me, perhaps because they mistook my intense social anxiety for meekness. But apparently I have always been a wild feral beast hiding out in human form.
If someone verbally attacks me or something I have said, I will have a go at first considering whether they have a legitimate reason to be doing so, but if my considered answer is 'no', I am perfectly happy to completely ignore every subsequent word they say on the matter, or if I'm feeling particularly energetic, to tell them exactly what I think of their statements.
While this has, in my experience, been an immensely helpful disposition for dealing with hostile randos (either online or off), I think I need to learn additional, more nuanced responses, to actually deal with other people I know and have healthy relationships. There will probably always be times where my natural responses are appropriate, but sometimes I just know that that's not how I want to handle a situation, lol. I've already learned a number of things that I've found helpful in recent years, but there is still much more I'd like to understand.