Relating to Fiction

I think it's worthwhile to understand the different ways that people relate to fiction.  One thing that I think is often assumed is that a person wants to read stories with characters they relate to and feel are similar to them.  There are many people who seek this out in fiction.  However, this is very much not something I do or look for.  Also, I think a lot of times this topic gets mixed in another discussion entirely, which is about how this may affect and interact with the analysis of stories.  That is not what I'm going to talk about here, though.  What I'm interested in here is what people seek out in stories and why, and what I'm going to discuss is how I relate to fiction.

For me, I don't really ever experience stories as if I am the narrator or protagonist.  Perhaps this is some sort of byproduct of the deep feeling of disconnection and separateness that I have with others.  I may like other people and be sympathetic to them, but I never feel that another person, real or fictional, is 'like me'.  This might be viewed as a sign of arrogance, but while I'll admit I have plenty of arrogance, I don't feel this way because I think I'm special.  I am however, unique, which is not the same as special.  Every individual is unique, really, and so, you see, that's nothing special.  It's simply that it seems I am hyperaware of my differences from other people, even fictional people, at all times.  So while I am also aware of the many similarities I have with other people (fictional or otherwise), the way my brain works is simply that it always differentiates me from others due to this quirk of my psychology.  Thus it seems it's simply not possible for me to relate to a fictional character as if I were them.

So, then, how do I relate to fiction? Well, one thing I look for when I read stories are characters that are differentiated from each other.  I'm fascinated by the various ways that very different people relate to each other, and I like to see different ways that plays out in fiction.  Another thing that interests me in stories are unusual events and extreme circumstances--I have a deep interest in seeing how people react in such circumstances and the choices they might make.  When I am absorbed by a story, it feels a bit like an out of body experience--myself and the world around me disappear, in a way, and I just experience the characters and the events of the story.  This is actually one major reason why I read so much when I was younger and why I still read or watch stories when I'm stressed today--it can be a very good way of taking my mind off of me and my immediate situation.  This is probably also why I favor sci-fi and fantasy so much, because those types of settings tend to be best at removing my thoughts from my immediate situation, which is something I think nearly everyone desires at some point or another.  While I don't feel the same degree of inability to deal with the world around me that I did when I was younger, there are still of course plenty of times when I just need something to think of besides reality.  But I don't read only for recreation or stress relief anymore, so another big factor for me now is whether the story can give me something to think about afterwards.  I also want stories that can generate strong emotional responses of any kind in me.

Really, every reader can have a unique experience with a story, and part of that is because of the very different ways that people relate to and engage with fiction.  This is also why there's no one 'right' way to be a writer, because different readers are looking for different things in their stories.