The Equanimity of Understanding that I Can't Make People Believe Me

I think it helps my peace of mind immensely to understand that I can't make someone agree with me. Even if I do everything right, even if everything I said in the argument was true, even if my logic was flawless(which is simply not always possible for anyone), even if I was impeccably patient and polite, people cannot be compelled to believe the truth any more than they can be compelled to believe anything else. Sometimes I even wonder if most attempts at persuasion are futile even before they start. To be sure, people change their minds all the time about things, but that doesn't need to mean that most arguments are successful. It could just mean that there are a lot of them.

I think it means that we all argue things a lot, and other people will turn the different arguments they see over in their mind, of which there are a lot, and eventually they may change their mind about something. But this is often not an immediate process, and typically not in response to any one singular argument.

This also isn't inherently good. People can change their minds to believe something that is true, to become more ethical, or to believe something false or adopt a less ethical mindset. So even when people are convinced, it's not necessarily the good arguments that convince them.

Considering all this helps me to understand both why persuasion is important and why I must limit my time and efforts engaging in it.