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Facing the World
Sep. 17th, 2025 12:02 amWas just thinking about how I spent most of my young life up to adulthood trying to ignore the real world's existence. I would immerse myself in exactingly detailed hours-long daydreams or in media or in writing or in anything that took my mind off of reality. It's one reason why even today I have issues with social skills. And it did help a lot to relieve my stress and anxiety, but left me with incredibly uneven life skills and understanding of a world that I spent so much time trying to ignore.
And at some point, I don't know when and I don't know why, I stopped needing to practically live in another world. And while I still daydream or read/watch media or write for fun or even to destress a bit, I don't literally try to live in another world to avoid facing this one. Because that's what it was: me, trying to make a world to avoid living in this one.
But I was still here, I just wasn't mentally present a lot of the time.
And it's weird? Because I actually have sooo many worries now that I didn't have back then lol. Obviously things like climate change and denialism have only gotten worse and when I actually started paying attention to politics and learning about the historical context of current events like I realized that all that is really bad and has been since long before I was born. For basically the entire world. And that the many difficulties I faced in my life were actually fairly minor when compared to the difficulties the majority of the people in the world face. That even though I've never been wealthy, the people who have had a better life than me up to now are a vanishingly small percent of the US, and an even more miniscule percentage of the world as a whole.
But it's just that now, I want to help with the work of making the world I live in a better place. And also to be more attentive to my personal problems as well, which can interact with these larger issues but are not exclusively about them.
I am ready to be present in the world I live in. I only hope it will be enough.
And at some point, I don't know when and I don't know why, I stopped needing to practically live in another world. And while I still daydream or read/watch media or write for fun or even to destress a bit, I don't literally try to live in another world to avoid facing this one. Because that's what it was: me, trying to make a world to avoid living in this one.
But I was still here, I just wasn't mentally present a lot of the time.
And it's weird? Because I actually have sooo many worries now that I didn't have back then lol. Obviously things like climate change and denialism have only gotten worse and when I actually started paying attention to politics and learning about the historical context of current events like I realized that all that is really bad and has been since long before I was born. For basically the entire world. And that the many difficulties I faced in my life were actually fairly minor when compared to the difficulties the majority of the people in the world face. That even though I've never been wealthy, the people who have had a better life than me up to now are a vanishingly small percent of the US, and an even more miniscule percentage of the world as a whole.
But it's just that now, I want to help with the work of making the world I live in a better place. And also to be more attentive to my personal problems as well, which can interact with these larger issues but are not exclusively about them.
I am ready to be present in the world I live in. I only hope it will be enough.