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unspeakablehorrorI hate the taskification that so much of my life seems to suffer from as an adult. And the thing is, I don't feel like this is the 'natural' order of things, and certainly I don't feel it's how my life should be. I just find it hard to immerse myself in things a lot of the time. I still enjoy them, but like the novel I just finished, I'm always having to, like, make myself have fun and do things that I know I will enjoy. It's hard to just spontaneously decide to do something fun, and that's frustrating.