![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
unspeakablehorrorOne thing that is important to me in addition to how I treat my friends is the standard of how I treat other people who I dislike or even loathe. Firstly, because the intensity of dislike or loathing is not necessarily proportional to what the person did wrong. It's always important for personal feelings to be addressed, but they're not always fair or just. In a lot of cases, the best (though not necessarily easiest) solution is getting distance between yourself and the offending person. This is something that has been immensely helpful to me on numerous occasions.
It's also important for me to determine how fair my feelings are in determining my response. For some people, it's pretty unambiguous to me that they go against everything I stand for, or at least a very significant portion of that. Whereas in other cases, something the person does just really rubs me the wrong way, but I recognize that in the scheme of things it's really not a big deal. It's also the case that issues of practicality are often important to consider in mediating our responses, and how close one is to a person will naturally factor into this. It's easy to block people you have only incidental contact with, not so easy to cut contact with a person you know well (even if it does turn out to be the right choice ultimately).
This is another area where I've come to realize that socialization skills are important. What's easiest for me to do (eg. ignoring the problem lol) is not necessarily sustainable for me long-term, and there are times that it's important to confront people, to condemn them, to apologize and make amends to them, negotiate, and to change the nature of one's relationship to others. And those are all things that require...the social.
It's also important for me to determine how fair my feelings are in determining my response. For some people, it's pretty unambiguous to me that they go against everything I stand for, or at least a very significant portion of that. Whereas in other cases, something the person does just really rubs me the wrong way, but I recognize that in the scheme of things it's really not a big deal. It's also the case that issues of practicality are often important to consider in mediating our responses, and how close one is to a person will naturally factor into this. It's easy to block people you have only incidental contact with, not so easy to cut contact with a person you know well (even if it does turn out to be the right choice ultimately).
This is another area where I've come to realize that socialization skills are important. What's easiest for me to do (eg. ignoring the problem lol) is not necessarily sustainable for me long-term, and there are times that it's important to confront people, to condemn them, to apologize and make amends to them, negotiate, and to change the nature of one's relationship to others. And those are all things that require...the social.