Socializing: My Woes

One of my social difficulties that seems very difficult to resolve is the glaring conflicts that arise between 'being myself' and being a good friend.  Sometimes I worry that the two are fundamentally incompatible.

Socializing: My Woes, Continued

I've seen a lot of people joke that they can't be themself because they don't have the slightest clue who they are themselves.  And that is very much not a problem I have but I do have the problem of 'I really don't think you want me to be myself'. Often. 

I think one of the biggest parts of that is that my sense of ethics seems to operate at a more abstract level a lot of the time, and I feel that if I don't act on violations to those ethics, then I'm betraying myself and my values even if saying nothing would be more socially beneficial to me and other people would actually think I was a better person by not making a big deal out of such things.  I have become less rigid over some things as I've become an adult because I came to the conclusion that they didn't matter or at the least shouldn't be prioritized over personal relationships, but I think it's just that I maybe don't respond as strongly as normal to social pressure regarding being wrong about things, including ethics.  Like if everyone around me says I'm wrong but I don't see how I'm wrong, then while I may not assume I must be right, I'm not going to take their word on it either unless they can present me with something I consider an actual good reason to think I'm wrong.