Sometimes Egotism isn't a Bad Thing

[unspeakablehorror]

It's a good thing I am extremely arrogant and egotistical because I was pretty much a complete social reject as a kid.  But while this made me loathe my classmates and want to avoid them, I didn't have to suffer the indignity of wanting the validation of people who hated me.  Glad I grew out of just the immense anger that would cause me, though.  Like, I would fantasize so hard about making those kids suffer, lol.  I knew better than to  actually try to do anything if it was just typical meanspiritedness and not physically threatening, but wow I had some pretty intense revenge fantasies as a kid, lol.  

There was really only one time I physically lashed out at someone when they hadn't physically threatened me.  This was someone who had tormented me for years.  And it kept escalating, so eventually I lashed out.  But my attack  was premeditated.  Because I didn't want to get in trouble with the school.  Did not go exactly how I had planned.  But I didn't get in trouble!  And nothing truly terrible happened to the other kid--I was more injured after the fight than they were, but even I didn't have any serious injuries.  The look of shock on their face alone made it worth it for me, though.

Also I'm perfectly okay with not revealing information about myself if I don't think someone would take it well--I always figure that's on them, not me, and if I can prevent putting myself in dangerous or even just uncomfortable situations by simply keeping some information to myself, all the better.