Thoughts on Socializing
Feb. 4th, 2019 05:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
unspeakablehorrorI should ask people things more often.
For example, I was thinking about how often times I'd like to show my appreciation for other people but I really, often, just have no idea how? So I often just don't say anything at all because I don't want to unintentionally do that in a way that ends up being inconsiderate to them and I know different people can have very different responses to the same thing for completely valid reasons. I can't and shouldn't assume that just because one person likes something that another person feels the same way. I also won't necessarily be willing to express appreciation for things unconditionally, or as effusively as some people would want. So in some cases I simply can't show appreciation in the way someone would want.
But if I asked people about that more often, I could maybe find out good ways to show appreciation to others. It entails some risk in itself too sometimes. But I think it's better than either just always avoiding it if I can think of any possible reason it might upset the other person, or to just go the opposite route and start assuming what they will or should feel.
There's a lot of other things I might handle better if I asked people about them more often too. I'm just so used to that mindset that I have to figure everything out myself, but in social situations that's just not always practical or even possible.
*Gently nudges self to try to implement this*
For example, I was thinking about how often times I'd like to show my appreciation for other people but I really, often, just have no idea how? So I often just don't say anything at all because I don't want to unintentionally do that in a way that ends up being inconsiderate to them and I know different people can have very different responses to the same thing for completely valid reasons. I can't and shouldn't assume that just because one person likes something that another person feels the same way. I also won't necessarily be willing to express appreciation for things unconditionally, or as effusively as some people would want. So in some cases I simply can't show appreciation in the way someone would want.
But if I asked people about that more often, I could maybe find out good ways to show appreciation to others. It entails some risk in itself too sometimes. But I think it's better than either just always avoiding it if I can think of any possible reason it might upset the other person, or to just go the opposite route and start assuming what they will or should feel.
There's a lot of other things I might handle better if I asked people about them more often too. I'm just so used to that mindset that I have to figure everything out myself, but in social situations that's just not always practical or even possible.
*Gently nudges self to try to implement this*