Individual Relationships and Social Justice

[unspeakablehorror]

I don't think it's at all bad for friendship lines to be somewhat arbitrary since people aren't owed your friendship in any capacity and also because I don't think one has to agree with or support literally every aspect of a person to be friends with them (unfortunately I'm not even sure there exist other people who would agree with every aspect I consider important in my personal philosophy).  I do think that I feel there are some conundrums regarding the arbitrariness of friendship and how without carefully questioning our motives it can lead to other things becoming much more arbitrary than they should be, though.  Like I sometimes wonder how people distinguish between treating someone with respect and dignity because they're one's friend vs. it just being the right thing to do.  I feel like these things can be conflated a lot, for example by treating someone badly for interpersonal reasons, but justifying that treatment with social justice reasons and the like.  Or defending someone for doing something indefensible out of a misguided belief that one should never criticize their friends (or even the reasonable fear that some people would be unwilling to remain friends with someone who criticizes any of their actions too strongly).  I think there are huge problems with setting individuals above ideals, or conflating individual issues with larger ones.  And it's not that individual issues are necessarily even petty.  Some are quite serious.  But when we mistake individual dynamics for larger social issues, or vice versa, we improperly analyze the causes, and therefore the solutions, to these issues.