I am Not a Writer

[unspeakablehorror]

As I reflect on the over half a year where I have not updated or added any fanfiction online, I thought I'd talk a bit about the fact that I am not a writer. While I greatly enjoy writing and consider it an important hobby of mine (and one I look forward to getting back to at some point!), I am not and probably never will be a professional writer.  There's a few reasons for this.  One, I already have a profession that I find reasonably interesting and that I actually feel motivated to try to make money with.  Two, I have never been able to consistently write well and quickly.  I may have brief spurts where one might be deceived into thinking that I am a writer of consistent speed or quality, but that is simply a passing illusion.   Finally, when I am lacking whatever spark allows me to operate during those times, any kind of writing can become incredibly difficult and painful for me.  In fact, even when I am inspired to write, that inspiration only applies to very specific things.  

This also means that I have very limited ability to engage in fandom activities regarding writing.  For example, while I greatly enjoyed the two fan exchanges I participated in, it's unlikely I will be able to participate in another any time soon.  And while I have been able to offer up occasional story ideas or beta read for others, I've determined that I likely won't ever be able to coauthor anything with anyone.  So while I do make an effort to participate in the more social aspects of fandom, there are some very definite limits to what that participation can entail.  This might mean that I always dwell at the fringes of fandom, but perhaps that's just how it has to be.