Loftwings and Demons

Sometimes I feel like I don't even know how to translate my inner thoughts into something intelligible and it's immensely frustrating.  Maybe part of it is that I think there's a lot of seeming contradictions to me as a person and also exposing my internal thoughts always feels like this tremendous vulnerability which causes me anxiety whenever I do try to approach it. And I hate feeling vulnerable.  I both do and don't want to be known--a difficult set of desires to satisfy.