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Contemplations on Friendship
Aug. 10th, 2021 07:50 pmA lot of times I wish I was able to be closer friends with people. While the dynamics of friendship are such that that will always be out of one's control to some extent, I also realize that I personally have a number of traits that probably contribute to this issue.
For example, I am often emotionally unavailable. And conversationally unavailable. And otherwise unavailable. It's unclear to me to what extent these issues can be resolved; there are reasons that I am this way, and while I know that I can make changes to my behavior, I also think that such changes do not necessarily have the expected effect, nor are they without additional consequences whether or not they are helpful in the expected way.
I like to be able to help and entertain other people. This isn't something that necessarily requires being friends with people, but I do also find friendships valuable. They're just much more difficult to me.
For example, I am often emotionally unavailable. And conversationally unavailable. And otherwise unavailable. It's unclear to me to what extent these issues can be resolved; there are reasons that I am this way, and while I know that I can make changes to my behavior, I also think that such changes do not necessarily have the expected effect, nor are they without additional consequences whether or not they are helpful in the expected way.
I like to be able to help and entertain other people. This isn't something that necessarily requires being friends with people, but I do also find friendships valuable. They're just much more difficult to me.
