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unspeakablehorrorI kind of wish I was better at communication or at least more accepting of my limitations in that regard. I hate feeling like I need to edit myself to be more palatable to other people, but also I think it is really, really necessary that I edit myself to be more palatable to other people lol. The only question is whether I am doing that in a sensible way or just a neurotic way, and of course the answer is the latter.
And like this is very much related to my issues with handling conflict. Which I generally seem to do very badly and find very distressing, as well as causing great distress to others. And so I generally try to avoid overt conflict with people. But that doesn't change the fact that I still know it's there and some part of me feels like I need to 'resolve' it. Even if I don't think I'm capable of 'resolving' the conflict in any worthwhile way.
And like this is very much related to my issues with handling conflict. Which I generally seem to do very badly and find very distressing, as well as causing great distress to others. And so I generally try to avoid overt conflict with people. But that doesn't change the fact that I still know it's there and some part of me feels like I need to 'resolve' it. Even if I don't think I'm capable of 'resolving' the conflict in any worthwhile way.