Me Complaining About My Communication Issues

[unspeakablehorror]

I kind of wish I was better at communication or at least more accepting of my limitations in that regard.  I hate feeling like I need to edit myself to be more palatable to other people, but also I think it is really, really necessary that I edit myself to be more palatable to other people lol.  The only question is whether I am doing that in a sensible way or just a neurotic way, and of course the answer is the latter.

And like this is very much related to my issues with handling conflict.  Which I generally seem to do very badly and find very distressing, as well as causing great distress to others. And so I generally try to avoid overt conflict with people.  But that doesn't change the fact that I still know it's there and some part of me feels like I need to 'resolve' it.  Even if I don't think I'm capable of 'resolving' the conflict in any worthwhile way.