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Sometimes I'll see an argument. That I agree with! And that is also, in a certain context, absolutely correct. But that should absolutely not be phrased in the way it was because it will be misinterpreted and 5 seconds of thought tells me how because without certain very specific pieces of information that very much should not be assumed to be known, the misinterpretation actually is the most reasonable conclusion to draw from the specific words chosen.
I get so immensely frustrated whenever I try to express thoughts and the right words...are not there. It's all the more frustrating because I often do get this sense of wrongness when I try to type something out and it's just...I can choose just to not say anything at all, which gets really intolerable after a while, or I can say something and be immensely frustrated because it just will not come out right. This is also entirely separate from the issue of whatever idea I'm trying to express being wrong. That surely happens all the time too, but that's just inevitable. I feel like this shouldn't be inevitable, that communication ability shouldn't fluctuate wildly and unpredictably. Is that too much to ask.
Communication Woes
Jun. 14th, 2021 07:23 pmI have a distinct problem in that I often want to communicate a very specific message but that I also often seem to lack the ability to articulate that message. This either results in me communicating something I feel does not entirely reflect my intent, or just not saying anything at all in order to avoid mangling what I want to say. It's really very irritating. But sometimes, I can communicate exactly what I'm thinking and it just seems so easy. Why can't I just be able to do that all the time? I'd like to at least be able to understand better what the difference between the situations is, so I could maybe do something about it.
Communication
May. 14th, 2021 02:43 amI always feel like communication is such a fraught thing. We must give others enough information so they can understand our meaning, but we are also expected to leave certain things unsaid for any number of reasons. Trying to balance those expectations does sometimes feel like an exercise in frustration.
At the same time, when people are just like 'but you can tell me anything' my first reaction is to think 'ah, you say that now, but would you really feel that way if someone really did just...tell you anything?' I actually don't think there's many people who would, if only because there are times when telling one anything would place overmuch burden for managing other's emotions on them. For other reasons too, but I think that's certainly a major one.
It's certainly the case that people have varying preferences for interaction, of course, which is another challenge of socializing. But even if someone doesn't want to be lied to with social niceties (which is a feeling to which I can certainly relate), that doesn't mean they can or should be expected to handle any idle emotion or thought that comes to other people. Sometimes a person realizes within a short (or long) while that these emotions or thoughts of theirs are something which they can and should resolve themselves rather than expect another person to. Or they realize it's unfair to place that burden on certain individuals.
Anyway, I don't have any momentous conclusion to draw here. I'm just considering some of the complexities of communication.
At the same time, when people are just like 'but you can tell me anything' my first reaction is to think 'ah, you say that now, but would you really feel that way if someone really did just...tell you anything?' I actually don't think there's many people who would, if only because there are times when telling one anything would place overmuch burden for managing other's emotions on them. For other reasons too, but I think that's certainly a major one.
It's certainly the case that people have varying preferences for interaction, of course, which is another challenge of socializing. But even if someone doesn't want to be lied to with social niceties (which is a feeling to which I can certainly relate), that doesn't mean they can or should be expected to handle any idle emotion or thought that comes to other people. Sometimes a person realizes within a short (or long) while that these emotions or thoughts of theirs are something which they can and should resolve themselves rather than expect another person to. Or they realize it's unfair to place that burden on certain individuals.
Anyway, I don't have any momentous conclusion to draw here. I'm just considering some of the complexities of communication.
I kind of wish I was better at communication or at least more accepting of my limitations in that regard. I hate feeling like I need to edit myself to be more palatable to other people, but also I think it is really, really necessary that I edit myself to be more palatable to other people lol. The only question is whether I am doing that in a sensible way or just a neurotic way, and of course the answer is the latter.
And like this is very much related to my issues with handling conflict. Which I generally seem to do very badly and find very distressing, as well as causing great distress to others. And so I generally try to avoid overt conflict with people. But that doesn't change the fact that I still know it's there and some part of me feels like I need to 'resolve' it. Even if I don't think I'm capable of 'resolving' the conflict in any worthwhile way.
And like this is very much related to my issues with handling conflict. Which I generally seem to do very badly and find very distressing, as well as causing great distress to others. And so I generally try to avoid overt conflict with people. But that doesn't change the fact that I still know it's there and some part of me feels like I need to 'resolve' it. Even if I don't think I'm capable of 'resolving' the conflict in any worthwhile way.
